


But how do I carry on once you're gone?

by iSpitonFire



Series: I let you go [1]
Category: Julie and The Phantoms (TV 2020)
Genre: And especially when you brought them to the person who did this to them, Angst, Grief/Mourning, How do you move on from losing people who changed your whole life, Hurt/Comfort, I assume there is going to be a decent amount of fluff, Moving On, The Author Regrets Nothing, and willie will tag along and flynn will take over something, asking for friends, but this is about what happens after they leave so, i know julie will end up at college, julie willie and flynn friendship even if right now its just julie and willie processing, no beta we die like himbos eating hotdogs, not sure where this is going except college
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-13
Updated: 2021-03-13
Packaged: 2021-03-14 06:28:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,825
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29912796
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iSpitonFire/pseuds/iSpitonFire
Summary: Julie didn’t fully realize what exactly it would mean when the boys moved on until she went out to the garage and found it empty. Yes, she knew that they would be leaving her and no longer in her life, but it was another thing to experience the lonely studio.Willie knew exactly what life was going to be like when Alex and the others moved on. Of course, he did. It’s what the rest of his afterlife was Before Alex. Caleb’s reaction to him helping the boys was painful but not surprising. Just like remembering Alex was gone for good. It was an unpleasant not surprise.Or, what life looks like when the Orpheum was the boys’ unfinished business and the could have been lovers have to pick up the pieces of their broken hearts.
Series: I let you go [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2199642
Comments: 5
Kudos: 4





	1. You take a step forward as you fall down

Julie stood in front of the studio just staring at it. A part of her was hoping one of the boys would pop out and ask why she was just standing there, but deep down she knew better. 

They had truly moved on. 

She was once again all alone. Nick’s visit didn’t help her melancholy attitude and Flynn would be there soon. 

She needed to go and push those doors open. She _was_ strong enough and she _could_ carry on. 

She nodded to herself and marched forward and slowly opened the doors. It looked the same as it had last night. 

Empty.

With a sigh, Julie walked forward and trying to figure out if she should mope on the couch until Flynn got there, or start going through and cleaning up the boys’ stuff.

 _Nah_ , she was going to flop sadly on the couch and wait for Flynn to show up.

Just as she was about to fall asleep, the door slammed open. Julie fell off the couch as she announced, “I brought ice cream and movies to make fun of.”

Flynn looked at where she was sprawled on the floor and sighed. “It’s like that huh.”

“Yeah. I thought about going through their stuff thought,” Julie offered slightly hopefully, still on the floor. 

“Hmm,” Flynn considered and shrugged. “Let’s do that tomorrow. Today, we celebrate you playing THE ORPHEUM FOR PANIC AT THE DISCO!” She paused. “And mourn the loss of those cute boys.”

Julie smiled, finally getting up. “Tomorrow. I want to at least see if I can find Alex’s hoodie if nothing else.”

Flynn threw an arm around Julie’s shoulder. “Gotta feed your clothing thief obsession somehow.”

Julie rested her head on Flynn. “Yeah,” she said softly.

They walked to the house, not looking back or closing the door.

Later Julie would look at it and think as long as the doors are open, the boys might come back.

Deep down she knows that was impossible. But maybe, just maybe, someone would see it as an invitation and the studio would gain a little bit more sound once more.

* * *

Willie laid curled up in the dressing room for hours before he picked his head up. It still hurt and he really didn’t want to get up but he had to. 

He had to make sure they moved on.

Carol told them that Caleb had pulled the boys into the stage before they disappeared. A part of him will always regret taking Caleb’s offer of the night off and not seeing Alex one last time. Even if it would hurt. Even if it would have been worse than what Caleb had done to them, it would have been worth it to see him up until the end.

Or he could have gone to the Orpheum and saw him playing for real. But it had hurt too much. 

Saying goodbye to the man he knew that he was in love with and would never forget or could ever tell how he felt? It made Caleb almost killing them a second time practically painless. 

He wished there was a place he could go and mourn him at, but the club was unsafe, even if Carol would likely try and watch over them as he sobbed. 

No, he had to get out. He couldn’t stay, not here, not any longer. He had to get out. He was going to combust if he stayed here any longer.

Slowly, he sat up and started painfully making their way to the door. It had been so long since their muscles cramped and he can’t say he missed the feeling. Putting an ear to the door, he listened for movement. The silence he heard scared them just as much as the door being unlocked.

But he had to get out. So, he slowly made their way to the exit. And saw no one.

By the time he made it to a place he felt safe teleporting from, it had gotten dark. And he didn’t really plan a location. Just wanted their heart back so he went where their soul called them without further thought.

The open door gave them a sliver of hope before he got closer and realized how cold and empty the garage was. 

He collapsed before the entrance, unwilling to take a step forward.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shout out to Mara (fanfics_she_wrote) for Carol, whom I borrowed for this scene


	2. to mourn what once was

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A bittersweet first meeting no one acknowledges should have been done by a blond drummer

Julie couldn’t sleep. Try and try as she wanted to, she just couldn’t. She felt restless and jittery. Like there was something calling her or something was wrong. 

_It was probably leaving Mom’s studio open,_ she bitterly thought. What she was bitter at, she wasn’t fully sure. The boys for leaving? Her leaving the door open in hopes they would come back? Her mom for dying? The boys for dying? Caleb? Willie?

She paused on her way downstairs. Willie. She had honestly forgotten about the other one left behind. Her heart hurt for them and she hoped he was safe.

Biting her lip, she felt a new determination to go to the studio. It felt like her mom or someone was trying to get her to go out there.

But when she arrived it was empty. Still. And she still couldn’t bring herself to close the door.

Hands-on her hips, she glared at the studio. 

And glared.

And pouted.

And huffed and walked into the studio. But stopped.

She tilted her head. Warmth. Chaotic energy similar to Flynn. Kindness. Freedom. Hurt. It all flew through her even though there was no one there and she knew, knew this feeling. Rushing in she went searching for a notebook and pen and then rushed back to the doorway and held them out.

“Uh, I’m not actually um sure? If there is someone here? But. But if there _is_ can you tell me? Please?” 

Julie was just about ready to accept defeat when she felt something pulling on her pants. When she didn’t see anything, she knelt down and held the supplies out. This time, something invisible slowly took them from her and began to write.

* * *

Willie was wasn’t sure what their plan was once he finished crying. Laying here felt wrong, but he was so tired from crying, from _still_ crying, and Caleb that he just didn’t _want_ to move. But it felt wrong being at his Lifer’s house and just laying on the ground.

Plans were really not their strong suit.

And of course right when they were just going to pop to the beach, a lifer had come from the house. He really liked the monster slippers and really hoped she couldn’t see them. He didn’t actually feel like he _could_ teleport yet.

Although, watching her glare at the studio was kind of weird.

And of course, he was too out of it to block out her when she walked through them so he got a full blast of _her_ and Willie was pretty sure the passion, kindness, love, and pure warmth that he felt in that moment meant she was his Lifer and she couldn’t see him.

What good news.

He leaned back and watched her tear the studio up looking for something before running back to the door. He watched the indecision on her face before she thrust the notebook and pen out right above him.

“Uh, I’m not actually um sure? If there is someone here? But. But if there _is,_ can you tell me? Please?”

 _Well, shit_ , he thought, _now he had to talk to her_. Julie seemed desperate and, well, he could use a friend too. Unfortunately, she was holding her supplies too high and it was a struggle to reach up at them. Their muscles had completely given up. 

With a sigh, he reached for her pants, thankfully close, and pulled lightly twice. She looked down before crouching and holding them out again.

He carefully took them from her and took a leap of faith.

_‘Hey Julie_

_-Willie’_

He looked at his note and thought that was probably enough and turned the book around.

Her eyes got wide. Breathlessly she whispered. “Hey, Willie. It’s nice to meet you.”

Bashfully smiling, he wrote ‘ _you too.’_

“I’m uh really sorry to say, but they moved on.”

Clenching his jaw, he wrote, ‘ _I figured. I’m sorry.’_

“Me too.” Julie sighed before sitting down near them. “I’m also sorry I can’t see you. I was really hoping that whatever let me see them would let me see you.”

 _‘Not your fault. Magic is weird.’_ He felt really proud of her giggle when she read what he wrote.

“Yeah, it is.” They sat in silence, just two could have had their happy endings mourning a loss. “Hey,” Julie started, softly, unsure. “If you need someplace to stay, you can always stay here. I know you have the club, but I can't imagine you'd feel safe there anymore and well...I think you'd end up here anyway. So, if you want, and you don't have to say yes, but if you want you totally can and you don't need to if you don't want to I get it I just wanted to offer-"

She got cut off when Willie practically threw the notebook on her lap. He wasn't sure what else to do, she wouldn't look at it, and lifers needed to breathe. And he might have panicked a little. Watching her pick up the notebook made them want to run because their quickly written ' _why_ ' seemed like a bad idea now as a frown fell on her face.

"What do you mean why? Your family." She turned to 'look' at them so he got a really good view of her frown morphing into panic. "I mean well Alex liked you and I figured you'd end up here eventually because that's just what seemed like it was going to happen and I don't know! I really don't. I just. You. Um."

Wide-eyed Willie took the notebook from her. ' _I brought them to Caleb.'_ He just couldn't wrap their mind around her calling him family, never mind the _rest_.

Julie's nose scrunched up as she read the words. "And? You helped them cross over too. You let them know what was going on. From what they told me, you didn't know it was going to happen and regret it. Also, don't think I don't notice that you seem to be stuck on the ground."

He sighed. He was hoping she would ignore that. ' _I'm fine. And I did bring them to Caleb. Just because I helped in the end, doesn't mean this isn't my fault.'_

Julie took the notebook from them and looked like she was about to swat them with it before she sighed. "You trusted him. None of us blamed you. And to prove it, I'm going to clean out the loft and turn it into your space." Julie sat up straighter excited. "Yeah! We can turn the loft into your space! I think it's mostly holding the boys' stuff, but I was already going to clean that up and-"

Willie barely noticed she stopped talking when he ripped the notebook from her hands and turned to watching him write. ' _You can't just turn it into a space for me! It's not safe for me to be here. Caleb won't be happy to hear about that and I brought them to him. Why would you even want me around?'_

Julie was playing with the hem of her shirt when he turned the notebook around. He jiggled it to get her attention but all she did was sigh. "I want you around because selfishly I want a reminder ghosts exist." The notebook almost fell from their hands. He barely caught it, but she didn't seem to notice. "I know that's an awful reason, and I really do want to get to know you as a person, Alex really hyped you up, but I also don't want to move on from living with ghosts. I know Caleb won't like it and it will be dangerous, but..."

' _It's hard to move on. And let ~~him~~ them go.' _He turned red at writing 'him' but there was only so much erasing to be done with a pen, so he slid it on her lap.

A soft smile appeared on her face. "Yeah. It's hard to let him and them go."

"You know," a voice started causing them both to turn to look at the new arrival. "I can't tell if this is sad, or if you are acting talking to someone anymore."

Julie snorted. "I'm talking to Willie, Flynn. Willie, this is my best friend Flynn."

He waved, even though he knew neither could see.

Flynn's eyes sparkled. "Oo Alex's cute ghost friend!" She said to said ghost friend's embarrassment. Then she paused and narrowed her eyes. "Why are you two sitting on the ground like that?" 

Willie reached for the notebook, but Julie was faster. "I think he's hurt. We've sort of been ignoring it. Oh, and we are totally clearing out the loft today. Willie is moving in." 

Flynn was nodding in agreement as Willie frantically wrote, ' _We never agree on that! And I'm fine!'_

Julie rolled her eyes. "Willie, you aren't fine. And I know we never agreed. But! I said I would clean it for you and you can do what you want with it. Nothing is something!"

"What does he, er what do you like?" Flynn asked as she moved to sit next to Julie. "All either of us know about you is that you are cute, love skating, Alex spent a lot of time with you, and you know ghost things."

Willie was very thankful they couldn't see their red face. ' _You really don't have to do this.'_

Julie rolled her eyes again. "I told you. Your family."

Flynn nodded sagely. "And once a Molina claims you as family, you are family for life. It's the rules."

Willie swore he wouldn't cry again and _yet here he is._ ' _I used to paint when I was alive. I took up dancing when I joined the club and I still like it. I always hated that I died early in the_ Golden Girls _run and I could never binge it.'_ Willie looked at what he wrote so far and realized how long it had been since someone had wanted to get to them for them. He sighed and decided to just end it with, ' _I go by he/they and am gay.'_

"Ooo same!" Flynn said. "Except well she/they and lesbian but still! Nice to meet another! And we can totally binge _Golden Girls_ together!" Willie beamed at them even if she couldn't see them.

Julie was absentmindedly nodding as she read over their list. "We can get you painting supplies. I'm more of a jewelry crafter and doddler myself so we don't have any in the house. But I bet dad wouldn't mind getting you supplies."

"Do ghosts sleep?" Flynn asked. 

Willie just stared at Julie in shock.

Julie shook her head. "The boys never did at least. But I'm sure we can get something to put up there so it's a little homier."

Willie went to go write 'you don't have to' when Julie's declaration of _"your family"_ ran through their head and he stopped. _'Thank you.'_

Flynn smiled. "Like we said, once declared family, you are family. And we always take care of family."

"And we can figure out the whole Caleb situation later."

_'I have a little bit before he notices I'm gone, but I won't always be here.'_

"That's fine. We can get you a sign for when you are here and when you aren't." 

"What Julie _means_ is she will _make_ a sign and it will look amazing."

Julie fondly rolled her eyes at her best friend. Just as she was about to say something, Carlos came through the gate. "Why are you in the doorway?"

Julie leaned over to look at him. "We are talking to Willie."

Carlos's eyes lit up and Willie was blown away by the fact that not one, but _all three_ lifers were happy to find out he was there. "Really? Can you see him too?"

Julie shook her head. "No, he is invisible to me. But we are going to be cleaning the loft out for them this weekend."

"Cool! I'll help! But first, we should go inside, dad made breakfast."

Julie winced. "I should probably tell him about the boys at some point shouldn't I."

"Yeah...this isn't going to be easy to explain."

"I'll help!" Carlos offered.

Julie smiled at him. "Thanks." She stood up and wiped her pants down. "Willie, we are going to go inside. You can join us if you want, or you have free reign over the studio. It's up to you."

He waved the pen in acknowledgment and watched all three enter the house. With a sigh, he teleported over to the couch and just curled up, wishing he could still sleep.


End file.
